Saturday, January 26, 2013

Help Wanted: Inquire within Post

The #Trainrwrecks are in a bit of a dilemma. It would appear as though all of our guy friends are leaving us. No, it's not because they don't like us anymore. Rude. It is because they are off being adults and having jobs and what not. Whatever. Fine leave us for Canada ( I know, right? P.S. we love Canada but the joke was there.) and parts unknown (Army Boy). We don't care. (Yes, we do. Come back. No, bad #trainwrecks! We don't need you anyway. Yes, 'we don't need you' is definitely the part to focus on) Sorry.

So obviously our guy friends are gone and we need new ones. Yes, new ones and that gives great opportunities to you, our dear readers. (Mom, do not reply). We are not looking for anything relationship-y or casual. We want serious PLATONIC inquiries only. I know putting this on the internet is only going to lead to creepy and god knows what things. But life is about taking chances and we choose to use our chance on this. (Bad idea? Probably)

So first the qualifications (or the musts):

Must be willing to listen to our rants and ramblings and offer more than a smile and a nod. I know that's how you respond to crazy people and it's just not going to work on us. (And that should be easy since you already read our ramblings. Just saying)

Must be a tactile person. We might enjoy a drunken cuddle every so often, or a sober cuddle. Really, we're tired of putting on tight t-shirts just to have a cuddle (Jon Richardson, anyone? You'll learn.) and we'd like to interact with real people.

Must not be gluten free. (No, we're just kidding. But if we weren', really just kidding.)

Must not be planning on leaving the city for a very very very long time....I guess vacations are okay but you really should take us with you or they should be short. :)

The shoulds:

Should be nerdy, but really just to get some of our references. (We're not funny unless you get them) We can be accommodating too. We also like to learn new things...mostly. That's why it isn't a must.

Should enjoy comedy. But we are happy to introduce you to the joys of comedy. But seriously, who doesn't just like to laugh. One of those joys of comedy might just have to be the Potential Boyfriend Show at Studio Be in Chicago at 8pm on Tuesday nights. They are also welcome to apply. They should really be called our "Potential New Best Friends". Kidding! (Mostly!)

The 'it would be great if's':

It would be great if you ate more than five things. A certain #trainwreck only eats about that many different things, and as I like to bake and cook many more things than those five, I'd love if you were willing to eat anything I put in front of you. (Bacon cookies. Those are yummy)

It would be great if you were good at Mario Kart because we like to host tournaments (...that's what gathering a few friends and playing Drunk Driving is right??) and would love it if you could participate.

The Benefits (this is not just for us you know)
You get to hang out with two awesomely nerdy girls who actually like to watch you/play video games

You also get a cuddle buddy

You will be introduced to our wonderful world of British Comedy and other Chicago Comedy scene things. All that is wonderful

Nora bakes, so you will be paid in awesome sweets and pastries. And that alone should be enough to apply for this job.

Again only serious inquiries please.

Or, if you don't want to become friends IRL feel free to follow us at:

Twitter: Andimatrainwrec (Katie), npalmerco08 (Nora)
Tumblr: Aaannddimatrainwreck (official), kahildreth (Katie), stillnuttypony (Nora)

And yes we did just re-read this post and say "Who let's us talk to people." Oh right, the internet. Thank you!