Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Designated Rememberer


So, everyone knows there are rules when you go out for a night on the town. Yes, I said, "Night out on the town." I am 60 years old in my head. I have even asked my mother, "When do kids go out these days." (I'm only a little pathetic.) Back on topic. Some of those rules are:

"If we came together, we leave together." (Mostly a girls only rule.)

"Always have a Designated Driver"

"Beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer, never fear."

"No tequila, if Dan is single" (That might be just us, but if you have a friend named Dan, it's a good rule.)

and so on.


However, we have decided that there should be a new rule...actually Nora's Dad decided. See last week were piecing together our night. One of our friends had no idea what happened. I had some recollection and Nora had most of it. Each of us had different pieces, but in the end, we had it all.  It took us a while to get the story out to her Dad.  This is when he suggested that everyone needs a "Designated Remember" and we thought this was awesome.

What exactly is a "Designated Remember?" (DR). Well, everyone has had those nights where they remember little to nothing when drinking. This is when you hope that the next day one of your friends can shed some light on the idiotic things you did the night before like; try and make out with half the bar, or how you knocked over everything that you touched and are no longer welcome back to that bar. But every once and a while, you end up with a friend in the same or almost the same position as you. They also remember very little of the night before.  Then what do you do? This is when you should have assigned a "Designated Remember." They can be the ones to fill you in. Now, I know what your thinking. Can't this just be the DD's job? Yes, it can, but what if you live in the city and there is no need for a DD because of public transit and taxis? This is when you need a DR.

Rules of being the DR

1. Drink only enough to stay below Black/Brown Out levels. (So you can still get pretty drunk)

2. Somewhat pay attention to what your idiot friends are doing.

3. Know what the person they were hooking up with looked like.  

4. Let them know what they have to apologize for tomorrow.

5. Let them know anything that they might want a heads up on tomorrow like: "You kissed your married co-worker. Work might be awkward, Monday."

6. Let them know where they are allowed and not allowed to go anymore because of their behavior

7. Do not stop them. That is not your job. They can do what they please, no matter how dumb. You just need to tell them about it.



Benefits of a having DR

1. No surprises like: "Why did so-and-so from work smack me this morning?"

2. Knowing the people who still like you and those who now hate you for your actions

3.Knowing where you are allowed to still go and not go

4. Knowing how good/bad looking that girl and/or guy was from last night and have the ability to avoid those people if you run into them again.


Benefits of Being the DR

1. Having things to hold over your friends forever.

2. Having leverage in every fight because they did that one thing that one time.

3. Endless things to mock them for

4. Cheaper bar tab

5. You do not have to be sober like a DD.


We felt like we should share this post because this is something that can be helpful to every group of friends; especially if you are the drunken idiot who is always doing stupid things, then getting to work on Monday and then having thaving things in your HR file that just confuse you. This is something that can simplify your life and makes things a bit less stressful for everyone.

So please, next time you go out, assign a "Designated Rememberer," and drink responsibly if you are the DR. Everyone else, do whatever, someone will remember for you.


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And yes we did just re-read this post and say "Who let's us talk to people." Oh right, the internet. Thank you!