Friday, December 7, 2012

The Perks of Being a Person Who Lives with Their Parents

So, here we are in our 20s. Most of us probably went to college or did something similar to get us out of our parents house for a while at least. But now that wonderful delusional time is over and the real world awaits, which means you have moved home to save money so you can leave again and not have to come back.

However now, living at home seems harder than it has ever been. Am I right? All one of your parents has to do is say "Go to bed," even as a joke and all of sudden you are a ball of rage. I CAN GO TO BED WHENEVER I WANT! I LIVED ON MY OWN FOR 4 YEARS, AND I HAVE A DEGREE! I AM STILL ALIVE NOW AREN'T I? I KNOW MY LIMITS! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! BBLLLAAARRRGG!! (I tend to scream that in my head every time. Kinda sound like Miranda Hart in my head when I do it too.) Obviously, it is an over reaction, and yet it happens every time. So here is something to read every time this happens in your life.

Perks of Living at Home (In no paticular order)

1. Free Groceries- There really is nothing better than free food. There is no more living on pretzels for 3 days until your paid so you can afford to get your next bag of pretzels and maybe a can of coke.

2. Money- If you look pathetic enough, they will give you money. My own mother does not ever want to give me money because that encourages me not to have a job. But every once and while, she'll just see me and hand me a 20. She even says, "I don't want to do this but I know you have no money and I just feel bad. You just look so pathetic." Really nice, Right? I take it anyway. I am pathetic.

3. Free Car! You get all the perks of having a car without almost any of the expenses. Yes, you may have to put gas in every now and again, but if you plan strategically, you won't have to. As long as you give the car back with enough gas, so you don't look like a total prick, which is at least a quarter tank of gas then you're totally fine. Then when they take it out,they have to put in gas before they bring it back. You do this and the car really is free!

4. Cable TV! Now, I do not use this perk that much since I have the internet, but still, you get all the cable channels for free. You can watch all the ABC Family: Harry Potter weekend you want. What? You wanted me to say, you could watch all the HBO and Showtime you want? Yeah, I still don't have those channels. But at least I have the 25 days of Christmas and the 13 days of Halloween. (I really need to become an adult. Maybe it will happen sometime.)

5. Location- You get to (hopefully) live in a prime location. Whether that location be back in your childhood neighborhood where you know where everything is and know all the secrets of the town, or in a really nice neighborhood near great transportation because your parents say, "screw having a house out in the middle of nowhere, we want to live where we want to live." So now they live in their dream downtown condo, and you get to have all the perks of living downtown in the middle of everything. Either way there are perks there.

6. Alcohol- There is always alcohol somewhere, and you did not have to pay for it. My mother is a wino, so there are always bottles of wine at my house. Nora, I don't know what her parents always drink, but man, do they have an awesome liquor cabinet. So, even when they drive you nuts, you can always drink their alcohol. You'll feel better.

7. Dry Cleaning- Finally, you get that interview you have been searching the internet for. Back in the college days, you would hope your best work outfit/suit was not wrinkled/too dirty. If it was, you either gambled wearing something somewhat wrinkled or creatively came up witha interview appropiate outfit for that day. Now, those stressful days are over. You can just throw your dry cleaning in with your parents. They pay for it and most of the time, pick it up and drop it off for you too. You may get roped into one of those last two jobs but that's not bad at all.

8. Mattress- okay, I know that sounds weird. But everything you slept on, during your college/whatever you did days, sucked. A twin extra long bed? You have got to be kidding me. Now, you get to have the nice mattress your parents purchased. It is a zillion times better than the dorm/crappy cheap one you bought for your first apartment.

9. Closet Space- Oh yes, the wonderful thing known as space. No matter if you were in a dorm or a cheap apartment. You had very little closet space. The dorm you really have more a giant bin of crap that held everything, and you hoped you could find what you were looking for and it was not destroyed. In your parents house, you get a full closet full of hangers, and you can put in organizers to make it all pretty. (I still mostly use the floor to store my clothes but for you neat freaks this is a god send.)

10. I should have 10 things. But my brain is done. I had to scan documents all day and go grocery shopping, and I loathe grocery shopping. So 10 is up to you. What is the one specific perk you get from living at home that you think no one else has?

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