Friday, December 21, 2012

Dear Miranda Hart,

I would like a job. Oh right, I should probably introduce myself and tell you why I would be qualified for a job. That is how logical writing works, right? While my prose can be quite well-written, I know you have very little time, so I think a list of credentials and reasons would be much quicker for everyone. So here we go, on with the letter! (See what I did there?)

1. My name is Katie, I was an Arts Admin Theatre Major in College and blah, blah, blah, all the things on every other resume. I am qualified to work in Theatre/Performing Arts.

2. I just want to work in comedy in anyway. You can easily provide that. You're a comedian. You need help with things. I can help you with those things. Those things can be pretty much anything, barring anything illegal or dealing with heights. I don't do heights well. So if you are looking for a bungie jumping partner, you may have to look elsewhere. But I would probably try to do it anyways.

3. I have previous experience in working in the comedy field. I am doing it now in Chicago. So, you know that I know the ins and outs of the comedy world.

4. I watch a lot of TV. A good chunk of my life has been spent with TV. It's like we are good friends, especially comedy TV. Comedy TV and I are best friends. So, I know what is good, what is bad, and what is good but the public just sadly never responds to. I've got it down.

5. You're kinda my comedian Idol right now. I found out about Miranda about two months ago and have already watched all the episodes at least 4 times and some more than that. It's funny every time. I would like to learn from you. Now, obviously that seems like more of a reason for me to want to work for you, but look at it this way. If I respect your work that much, you know I will give you more dedication than anyone else. I will go above and beyond, and that applies even if I am just the coffee/errand girl. I don't know care. All that matters is I am working for you.

6. I love London. I currently live in Chicago with my mom and you know how that can be. One wrong, little thing said and you are a ball of rage. So, I will happily (oh so happily!) move anywhere you may need me, which I really hope is London area. If it's not, I am little confused, but I will take it.

7. Please. I asked nicely and that should count for something. Right?

8. It isn't just you. I could probably help you navigate those tricky life situations because I could at least equal some of your embarrassing moments, if not surpass them. My boss just told me today, "Maybe you're chemically unbalanced." He also calls me "sassy" a lot. So standing next to me, you can look like a well poised and elegant person.

9. I will work for practically nothing. I just graduated from university. I am not expecting much from life, money-wise, right now. I just need enough to live and pay a few small student loans. That's all. I have survived on a bag of pretzels for a week. I can handle the small wage, you could provide.

10. I am patient (sort of, it depends on what I am waiting for. If I am waiting for someone driving to take a right turn, not patient. For you to give me a job, super patient). Perseverance , I think, pays off in the long run. So, I am willing to wait for this as long as you need. If you see this a year from now, If the date is December 2014, still contact me. I will accept whatever job you have to offer at any time.

Well, I hope those reasons have given you something to think about, and that you will consider me for the next open position you have available. Regardless of how this goes for me, I can't wait to watch the next season of Miranda. I hope all is well with you and you also keep laughing. I know I am laughing at myself right now.

Cheers,

#The Trainwrecks