Rule 1: Some things are just off limits. Certain costumes are just not meant to be "sexy." I'm sorry, but if you need to be a Bert or Ernie, you cannot be "sexy" Bert or Ernie. There are just so many things wrong with that costume idea, it's borderline disturbing, really. Here look:
See that is super messed up. It should not exist. My childhood has just been ruined and now, thanks to me so has yours! mwhaha...but really sorry you had to see that, but I am trying to make a point here.
Rule 2: If there is a "sexy" version, there has to be a regular option right there next to it, and it should be labeled as such. Some of the places people buy costumes now, the package doesn't even say "sexy" anymore, they just say "ladies." See, that is not cool, and no one who deems themselves a "lady" would wear that. So, they need to hang the actual costume next to the sexy one and give us a choice. For example if you wanted to be Chewbacca, you would like the option to either actually be Chewbacca or whatever the hell this other one is. Really, would you know that was Chewbacca without the accessories? I honestly would be confused. I would guess so many things before Chewbacca. She doesn't even have a beard. She really just looks like she hasn't shaved in a while.
Rule 3: If woman have the options for every costume to be "sexy" so should men. Straight men and lesbians should not be the only ones getting something out of these Halloween costumes. I am equal opptunist. It's only fair really. If a man wants to be Sloth from Goonies, there should be a "sexy" version as well.
And finally Rule 4: All costumes, no matter what, are allowed corsets. What? They are fun and a man in a corset, looks hilarious.
In the end though, all the sexy costumes are really just stripper costumes in disguise. Any time you see a "sexy" version, you know that is the costume they would use in a strip club. So, in reality, these costumes could be considered smart. All these girls really just want to be strippers for Halloween. They just don't want anyone to know. So, instead, they dress up like a character, but make it "sexy," and it's actually their stripper persona. So take a look at what costumes people decide to make "sexy," you may find out more than you wanted to know.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
You should see my sexy Sloth costume!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. This is how I have always felt about women's halloween costumes. I thought Sexy Blueberry Muffin was bad but they came out with Sexy Hamburger this year and it got so much worse. haha
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree with your four rules, It seems more to me that the real problem is in the availability of reasonable of pre-packaged costumes. Now of course, women are free to just wear "men's" costumes, because honestly, what is the difference? Overall, though, I don't see that many people dressing up in these ridiculous costumes I see lots of people complaining about, perhaps I just have better taste in friends than the general public. I'm all for sexy costumes, just not shitty and unoriginal ones.
ReplyDeleteFor reference, at the party I was at on Saturday I definitely was the only one wearing a sexy costume. (I was Ke$ha and I fucking rocked the fishnets)
There's still hope for women's costumes! I saw a couple of girls on Saturday night walking to/from a party, both dressed as male characters, one as Ryan Gosling's character from Drive, the other was Batman.
ReplyDeleteThis hopeful part of this: They weren't dressed as "sexy" versions. The Driver had the Scorpion Jacket, Jeans, gloves and whatever, and the girl dressed as Batman was literally dressed as Batman. Like in the Bat Suit, it was badass.
I'm a guy, and can't help but admit that these girls were very attractive, but they were just dressed as characters, and were attractive in their own selves or however you want to call it, but it was not because of some stripper outfit.
The point I'm trying to make here is that these girls can be comfortable in their own skin, and that absolutely needs to be encouraged.