Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The "Sexy" Halloween Post!

I know, it's Halloween, and I am female, so I must complain about the costume choices for women. Cliche. But I don't care what you think! This is my blog! I do what I want and what my co-writer tells me. I also don't really care that there are "sexy" versions. In fact, it is kind of nice to be able to spot someone with an IQ below 85 at a distance. Saves me time. I do, however, think there needs to be a couple of rules for it though. This anarchy cannot continue.

Rule 1: Some things are just off limits. Certain costumes are just not meant to be "sexy." I'm sorry, but if you need to be a Bert or Ernie, you cannot be "sexy" Bert or Ernie. There are just so many things wrong with that costume idea, it's borderline disturbing, really. Here look:


See that is super messed up. It should not exist. My childhood has just been ruined and now, thanks to me so has yours! mwhaha...but really sorry you had to see that, but I am trying to make a point here.

Rule 2: If there is a "sexy" version, there has to be a regular option right there next to it, and it should be labeled as such.   Some of the places people buy costumes now, the package doesn't even say "sexy" anymore, they just say "ladies." See, that is not cool, and no one who deems themselves a "lady" would wear that. So, they need to hang the actual costume next to the sexy one and give us a choice. For example if you wanted to be Chewbacca, you would like the option to either actually be Chewbacca or whatever the hell this other one is. Really, would you know that was Chewbacca without the accessories? I honestly would be confused. I would guess so many things before Chewbacca. She doesn't even have a beard. She really just looks like she hasn't shaved in a while.


Rule 3: If woman have the options for every costume to be "sexy" so should men. Straight men and lesbians should not be the only ones getting something out of these Halloween costumes. I am equal opptunist. It's only fair really. If a man wants to be Sloth from Goonies, there should be a "sexy" version as well.



And finally Rule 4: All costumes, no matter what, are allowed corsets. What? They are fun and a man in a corset, looks hilarious.

In the end though, all the sexy costumes are really just stripper costumes in disguise. Any time you see a "sexy" version, you know that is the costume they would use in a strip club.  So, in reality, these costumes could be considered smart. All these girls really just want to be strippers for Halloween. They just don't want anyone to know. So, instead, they dress up like a character, but make it "sexy," and it's actually their stripper persona. So take a look at what costumes people decide to make "sexy," you may find out more than you wanted to know.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!