I Have the Palette of a Drunk 5 year Old

So we are almost at 3000 views and 50 posts. We are just trucking along, aren't we? Well since we have gone this far and you have stayed with us, we thought we would dedicate this week to you guys getting to know us! I know, such fun! (Miranda-ism.  I am a little obsessed, thank you.)

You guys have been reading our love letters and our opinions on things for weeks, but we feel you are barely scratching the surface of getting to know us. We would love to know you as well by the way. Do not fear the comment section. We get quite excited when we get one. So yes, back on track, we decided that each post this week we would reveal something new, you may not know about us, and what regular posts may not reveal. (Oh the only regular reader is my mom? Yes, she already knows too much about me. Oh well, maybe by revealing something new, we can get more readers! Optimism or denial? I am not sure.)

Let's continue. So this post is my (Katie's) reveal. I would like to talk to you about how I have the palette of a drunk 5 year old. Don't worry I plan to explain. This is my way of explaining my picky eating habits. I truly abhor that I am a picky eater. I always hoped when I got older, I would grow out of it and be going out with friends to that new Thai restaurant and being excited about it rather than anxious, because if there is not something with chicken, where I can mainly just pick out the chicken and ignore all the other bits, I am totally screwed. (That is a long sentence...sorry) If there is nothing, that is when I usually lie and say, I already ate and then sit there staring wishing I had some french fries.

So onto explaining the drunk 5 year old. Well, everyone knows about acquired tastes. Some foods are known for the need to have them many times before you develop a taste for them. These things include coffee, wine and the like. Now, I feel all my tastes are acquired. About 5 years ago, you could not get me to eat a red meat. Red meat mainly disgusted me. BBQs were always troublesome, where as a child I would just eat hamburger and hotdog buns and nothing else. However, slowly over time I would try steak and other things from my family and friends plates. It smelled good and most of the time wasn't bad. And over the years, I liked it more and more. Now I love steak, burgers, and anything with red meat that is not too covered in sauce. I hate extras on food. Too much flavor for me. Blech. So as I thought about that, I decided all my tastes must be acquired. I need years to finally like any new food. I have obviously acquired all the food tastes you get as a child. Those were forced by my parents making me eat them. So, I love pizza, chicken nuggets, french fries, and some healthy things like apples, carrots and grapes.

Tangent/Story Time:
I was at work on day and had miraculously brought my lunch in rather than buy a slice of pizza or chicken fingers from the deli downstairs. I had a peanut-butter sandwich (because Jelly is gross. Yes, I said it.) grapes, wheat thins, and a pop (That is Midwest for Soda, if you weren't aware. Also known as the proper term) My boss walks by and sees my, what i think is a fairly balanced meal,  stares at it, and then laughs. I sit there confused. Then she says, "You know I just sent my 3rd old to school with the same lunch. Except I cut the grapes in half in so she doesn't choke. I could do that for you." Don't read that as rude, she was quite nice about it and I laughed. I was known in the office as a poor eater. However, it was still a little bit of a sad moment. I thought, woohoo, that morning. I am being an adult. I made my lunch. I have a little bit of everything. I am growing up. Nope, I am being as much of an adult as a 3yr old is. I get to be 5yrs old though because I made it myself. Great. In that same office, I have been told about how I am going to die due to the fact that I never went more than 3 days without a basket of chicken fingers for lunch. Many wonder why I am not 300lbs. I wonder too to be honest. It was all out of concern and sheer confusion for how I survive and will survive in the future.

End of tangent/story time. All my foods are those foods kids never escape. So once I could make my own food decisions, these were what I had and I did not like any new venture at first. So I stopped forcing new food altogether. So here I am at 22 and only eating pizza and fries.

Now your still wondering why the palette is a drunk 5yr old. Well, that is quite easy to explain. You have the 5yr old part already. So when you enter you late teens and early twenties, drinking is an obvious activity to take part in. At first, I was as sad as could be, and only drank Mike's Hard Lemonade (I know appalling, isn't it) because it tasted like juice and not alcohol. Obviously it tasted that way because there is more sugar than alcohol in it; and that was also why drinking never seemed appealing at first. I never got drunk, I just got a headache from the obscene amount of sugar I would drink in a night. So I knew this needed to change. So I took a tiny step and that was this delicious cocktail of orange juice and whipped cream vodka. I know it seems odd but it tastes like a dreamsicle and is delicious. I still drink those. However, now I can longer taste vodka because I have had them too many times. So that can lead to some trainwreck nights.

However, that drink did not solve my problems for long. House parties and byob events were fine, but bars were a problem. So when I turned 21, I had no idea what to order. So I decided I was not going to one of those girly girls who only drank daiquiris and fruity cocktails. I can't take those girls seriously, so that will not be me. So I forced myself to drink beer. At first, this was very difficult. I had to do that force-my-face-not-to-grimace-from-the-taste-and-remain-neutral-thing. It never works you just end up looking a combination of both, and then no one knows what the hell you're doing. They tend to ask if you are okay. However, over time I began to like beer. I can now drink almost anything you put in front of me and be fine. I even get complimented for being a girl who likes beer. But don't ask what a good beer is. I can't do that. I have no sense for what a good taste is. I just know I can drink this without making a face and that is a triumph.

There was still one thing I was missing though from being a true drunk 5yr old. You cannot include drunk if all you have is hard liquor mixed drinks and beer. That does not a drunk make. You obviously need shots. This was the scariest part of the drinking process. I wanted to be cool and the kinda girl that can handle whiskey (I am not, still). So when it came to that part, I always lied at first. Oh no, I can't do shots. They cause an instant bad reaction. It was enough to get people to leave me alone. However, when the bars came in, that was harder. People would just buy rounds of shots for everyone.

My first shot was a shot of whiskey bought by a friend. His words were, " I paid for that you have to drink it." I should have replied, "Yeah you paid, you drink it." But I cannot be rude like that. He was doing something nice. So I had no chaser, a shot of pure alcohol in front of me, and was in a public place. I knew I would hate the taste and feared spitting it all over the table or throwing up or god knows. But I couldn't be rude. So picked it up, cheers-ed, and downed it. I got it down (impressed myself there) and my mouth was burning. I needed a chaser. This taste could not stay. Something bad would happen. So in front of me was an empty beer bucket full of ice. So I, as the classy being I am, shoved my hand in the ice bucked, pulled the ice out, and stuck it in my mouth. It looked very lady-like. It fixed the issue though. So I am 1 for 1.

Since I did survive the shot though, I knew I could do it. So again over-time, I was able to take a shot as long as I had my drink somewhere near by. It is still that way. I cannot deal with just straight alcohol, but I can handle myself in a bar.

So because of all of this, I can no longer taste whipped cream vodka, vodka in anything, or, a new discovery, tequila in sour mix. I can drink anywhere and I do. I am still working on the wine part of this though. I can handle sweet wines. Once I can drink a Pinot Grigio with no issues, I will be a complete drunk 5yr old.

So there you are. I am a drunk 5yr old. I forced myself to like alcohol to handle adulthood and then have had enough time to like the same foods as a 5yr old. That is my fun fact and some stories to make you probably have less respect for me. Oh well at least I am being honest. How often does that happen?

Twitter: Andimatrainwrec (Katie), npalmerco08 (Nora)

Tumblr: Aaanndimatrainweck (official),  kahildreth (Katie), stillnuttypony (Nora)

And yes we did just re-read that and said, "Who let's us talk to people!"

Improv of Chicago: PBFs at Studio Be

No, the title does not mean Peanut Butter and Friends even though it totally looks like it does. It means something so much better, Potential Boyfriends. No, this is not a weird dating thing like many of our "friends" thought when we proposed to go and see them. They are an Improv Troupe in Chicago. They perform at Studio Be on Sheffield on Tuesday nights at 8pm for $7, but don't worry fellow broke people that $7 gets you a free beer at the Karaoke bar down the street. Where you get to drink and sing with them and possibly, if you're lucky, hang out with us.

Now, you're probably wondering why we are talking about this random Chicago Improv Group. What do you care, you live in Germany. But seriously people need to know about these guys and come down and see them. So we thought we would share our experience of seeing them with you.  So let's go back a few weeks to our first time with the Potential Boyfriends.

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012. It is just after Thanksgiving; (in America, sorry again Germany. We do like you.) and what does a person need more after a week with family than a good laugh? So after my friend Shannon (another friend! They do exist. Sorta) introduced me to this show, and I thought, Nora needs to see this and Dan can come. You'll hear more about Dan. Now I am passing the computer to Nora because she got there first and has a fun story,

I actually have many fun stories. But I'll just share this one with you, have to keep you coming back for more. Right, so Dan and I leave pretty early to head down there because we are taking mass transit, and I trust nothing to get me anywhere on time. PBFs is a BYOB (I know right, awesome) so we walk into the Studio Be with our wine and say hello, introduce ourselves, and then belatedly realize that in order to open the bottles of wine, one must have a corkscrew (Katie chimed in with "One must not be an idiot." I know, so mean.). A PBF, Pete, offers to go retrieve their corkscrew for us, and while he does, we chat and mention that our friend told us about their show and she should be coming too.  All of a sudden we hear a CRASH BANG BOOM and some sort of yell that I took as triumphant. I call back "That sounds promising." Turns out, it was. Pete returned with a corkscrew, and we were able to drink our wine. Or, we would have been had we brought cups. Poor Pete was sent on another adventure to go find us cups. (I will cut in on myself with the fun fact that we have never brought cups and last night I just looked at Pete and said in a vaguely pathetic "Pete? Cups?" His so appropriate response was "I should just hand them to you when you walk in the door." See? They are the best.) We stay to chat for a little bit longer and then as more people arrive go in to take our seats. Annd back to Katie. Oh but first, I will tell you that I had texted her "We made friends!"


I did receive that text and promptly ignored it. So, my night begins on the train trying to find Shannon. I live a little farther South than her so she was waiting at a stop ahead of me. Now we weren't trying to take the same train, but I saw her and instantly jumped out of my seat to the door, which was a bit retarded since it takes a while for the train to stop and the doors to open, so everyone on the train looked at me like I was crazy. (Nothing new) I then ran out of train to Shannon, screaming her name only to find her standing next to one of my superiors from work. Now, I did get to find Shannon so win, but I also look like a moron in front of one of my bosses, so lose. We're even though, so the night is off to a great start. I then leave Shannon to go and get her drinks at Walgreens because I think I should get to Nora, since she has never been here before. She will just be alone with Dan. As I walk into Studio Be, I talk to Nick who is handling the money and say, "I have some friends here." He then responds "Oh, you know Nora and Dan." And I am just like, seriously, you guys have been here for 5 minutes. What could you have done to already have them know your names? I am truthfully not surprised but still. It happens every time. Why? We just make friends, awkwardly, every where we go. I just start laughing, and Nick is then confused. I finish paying and getting my stamp for the show and see Nora waving obnoxiously from the Theatre.

Now onto the show. Yes, that was just the pre-show! Now the show goes as follows. There are two opening acts that are anything from a sketch group to a stand- up comedian. This week there was one sketch group and one improv troupe. Both were quite good. We had lots of laughs. One of them was even from Second City's touring company, Nicole Hastings. We thoroughly enjoyed these groups, but they did not top the PBFs. The PBFs were in top form, mainly because of Dan. Dan had the improvisers dream suggestion. The question they asked to the audience was, "It was Thanksgiving last week, did anyone do anything weird or awkward? Dan waited a moment to see if anyone would say anything, but when they didn't, he offered this gem. "I broke up with my girlfriend in a 5 hour car ride. The beginning of the car ride." One of the PBFs, Pat,  went straight to shake the Dan's hand. This led to the way they structure their set, which is by telling personal stories based on the suggestion, and then acting out scenes based on their stories.

So they took the suggestion and ran. There were too many great bits to remember, but this one stuck out for it being utterly ridiculous and hilarious. Nick talked about his last girlfriend, who was on the heavier side and loved fireworks. Fireworks was actually why they broke up. He kept talking during the fireworks, which distracted her from watching the fireworks. (Really? How can talking disrupt the loudest form of boring entertainment.) That is also what Nick thought, which led to their fight and then their break up. So the scene was then based on killing fat chicks and luring those chicks into the basement with fireworks. Machetes were mentioned. It became complete chaos, but the best part was watching Nick, who was not in the scene, turn bright red, not be able to stand because he was laughing so hard imagining his friends luring and then brutally murdering his ex-girlfirend. No one in the audience could even handle the amount of laughter that was occurring. Yes, that bit was a bit darker than their usual...sometimes, but it was amazing.

The other bit we have to mention came from the second week we went. (Yes, we have gone for 3 or 4 weeks in a row. ) Nick and Pete are playing 2 mothers in a scene and the one mother (Pete) is looking to redecorate her child's room now that they have moved out. Pete suggests sex dungeon. Nick, also a mother, starts talking about all the different things one can do in a sex dungeon. He rattles off a few and then ends it with this,"Sometimes you just want to get punched in the butt by a garden gnome." (Do you know what that means? Neither do they.) So, then the rest of the scene is played with Pete trying to get Nick to describe what that euphemism actually means. Nick, obviously having no idea, spends the scene trying not to describe what the euphemism means. The battle between the two makes this scene unbelievably funny. Then right when Nick is backed into a corner and about to explain, Pat runs across the stage and stops the scene. Everyone in the audience laughs and groans because they wanted to know. Joey then runs out and actually explains. (But sorry guys, we don't remember the explaination. Maybe that's a good thing.)

The next part of the night is our time at the bar where we obviously become best friends with the PBFs and by "best friends" we mean, we talked/hung out with them a bit. They are really nice, personable guys. (They might deny that) Okay, if you are not a big improv fan (I don't understand why you wouldn't be but to each his/her own.) there is one other major reason to come out on Tuesday night, and that is to see Nick perform karaoke. There is no one that can beat his performance of "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5. So if you go, don't sing that song. Nick will kill you. He owns the stage. That alone should get you to come and see these guys and get a FREE beer.

Now it is on a Tuesday, so that is hazardous for those of us who work because they might end up at work the next day covered with PBFs stamps all over their face and arms. The stamp ink does not come out easily and forced me (Katie) to wear long sleeves to the office in order to not have my boss ask questions. It also kinda looked like I got punched in the face because the ink smears just fine, so it looked like a little blue blotch on my face. It was very flattering.

So what should you be getting from this long convoluted post? If you are in the Chicago land area, make time on a Tuesday night to see some cheap funny theatre and get a free beer with The Potential Boyfriends. You will see us there, laughing our asses off. How will you know it's us. Just do the #trainwreck hand signal, which goes as follows. Put your arm straight out toward the person you believe is a fellow #trainwreck, and then with your palm facing them, move it in a circular motion. If they are a #trainwreck, they will respond by doing that same hand gesture but with the hand/palm facing themselves. Basically this is silently saying to them "#trainwreck" and them responding "obviously." We hope to see you there!

Check out PBFs Facebook Page Here: http://www.facebook.com/potentialbfs?fref=ts
If you like the page, you will know about all their shows and what not.

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Twitter: Andimatrainwrec (Katie), npalmerco08 (Nora)

Tumblr: Aaannddimatrainwreck (official), kahildreth (Katie), stillnuttypony (Nora)